Hello friends, and welcome/welcome back to my little knothole on these here internets. A couple of weeks ago I wrote here about being on the web pre-social-media, and describing this space as a “knothole” just now unearthed a memory from under the decades of other dusty, moldering recollections: that my first website was titled “(Terrible Circa-1997 Internet Handle Redacted)’s Hideaway,” and I honestly can’t remember what I posted there because I was more preoccupied with perfecting my HTML and finding the right gifs to add some pizazz. Last month I watched a short movie from 2021 called Deadware, a nostalgia piece ostensibly set on a pre-2000s internet (the concept was good but, as an internet dinosaur, I had some complaints about the execution), in which a tertiary character is said to have a website called “Amy’s Hideaway.” At the time I felt a tingle of cringe but couldn’t quite place why, and I think that’s it. Anyway, one of my other efforts, “The Moose Retreat,” was a lot better since it had a focus: just pictures of various moose on a pastel background with captions that encouraged relaxation. This was probably an offshoot of my love for the cozy situational dramedy Northern Exposure. Knowing what I know about moose now—namely that they are monstrously huge and could trample you in a heartbeat should they decide to do so—I think if I were to recreate it I might make it “The Sloth Spa” or “The Kitten Inn” or something similar.
Anyway—hideaway, knothole, vacation timeshare, however you’d like to think of this place, I’m glad you’re here! Today we have a Wheely? Wheely?! update and a packing crate full of mini book reviews, so grab some tea and come hang out.
Wheely? Wheely?!: The Mirrorball Strikes Again
I will note that during this Wednesday’s trip to the rink I didn’t overtly eat shit—I didn’t actually hit the ground—but I did have to catch myself several times, which really takes the joy out of gliding around on eight wheels. I tripped over not one, not two, not three, but FOUR errant squares of mirrorball:
I’m aware that this is two and a half pieces, but since both halves of one square tripped me on separate occasions, they bear the distinction of being one of four. I’ve only got this one half because a rink employee found the other one and chucked it. I suppose I could chuck these, but I like to collect my (inert, non-Brenda/Brandon) Mortal Rink Enemies™ as trophies. They have also been affixed to the praying gloworm altar as a little more visual proof of my ability to overcome life’s little challenges.
As for where the pieces are coming from, I suspect it’s the age of the mirrorballs. There are several and they’ve been up since the inception of the rink, so I imagine over time the glue has grown brittle and lost its sticking power. This cluster appears to have lost quite a few:
Moral of the story is: if something on the ground is throwing you off your groove, it pays to look up. I’ll let rink management know when I go in on Saturday. I should have said something before I left, but ADHD brain was in full effect and I got distracted by something between putting my shoes back on and leaving the venue, sigh.
And now: books!
January Reading Roundup (Yes, I know I could do this on Goodreads, but… ugh, Goodreads)
So as previously mentioned, I imagined making this space into a book blog, but I’m too dibbly-dabbly to create a singular effort. But I’d still like to talk about books—show and tell what I’ve been reading, make recommendations, and hone my review skills—so I’m rebooting the book blog concept as an occasional roundup. With hope, this will also encourage me to keep reading and branch out into different genres. I read a lot of horror and literary novels, but haven’t checked into much fantasy, romance, or sci-fi. To that end I’m following more BookTubers (folks with YouTube channels serving up book reviews, analysis, and discussion of what’s going on in the world of publishing, authors, and upcoming titles) and adding to my TBR pile from their recommendations. My regular watches are Reads With Rachel and Jess Owens, both of whom are insightful, funny, and work really hard to create thoughtful videos about all things literary. Among other kinds of reviews, Rachel makes a point to ask “Did This Deserve One Star?”, reviewing books that were “one-star bombed” on Goodreads (a practice where a book is rated poorly not for the actual content, necessarily, but for the author’s behavior out in the world and social media) to see if they’re really worth one star from a craft perspective. And one of Jess’ regular offerings is periodical discussion of goings-on in the reader and writer worlds called Book CommuniTEA. If you are a reader and want to find your people, these are great folks to start with!
ANYHOW, on with the January roundup! Yeehaw!
The Venue: A Wedding Novel by T.J. Payne (text plus audio narrated by P.J. Morgan) [novel; horror, destination weddings]
A fast-paced horror novel set in a fancy-schmancy castle-type estate where only extremely wealthy couples can afford the unique services proffered by a cadre of wedding planners and specialized venue staff. I don’t want to give too much away, although the tone and nature of the wedding event will become quickly apparent as early as the first few pages, though the guests will lag many chapters behind. I enjoyed Payne’s The Interceptors and have In My Father’s Basement in my TBR pile—he writes twisty stories with interesting characters that compel me around every corner to see what’s coming next. The Venue made me glad that I haven’t really been invited to many weddings and would make me wary of one coming from a high school chum. (As of this writing, this book is in the Kindle Unlimited catalog; I purchased the audio.)
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Head Cleaner by David James Keaton (text plus audio narrated by Joe Hempel) [novel; horror, sci-fi, movie nerdery]
This has an interesting premise involving timeloops, the potential to change history through physical media, and trying to determine what is reality and what is paranoia featuring a ragtag collection of characters who work at the so-called last Blockbuster in the United States. I really wanted to like it a lot more than I did. My chief complaint is that such strong and interesting concepts never seem to find grounding and are lost in a lot of convoluted pop culture back-and-forth. I worked in a video store for a long time (definitely familiar with receiving and answering questions of the “hey do you have that one movie with that guy who was in the thing” variety), and I’m one of those annoying people who can hold a conversation in movie quotes and references, so I’m intimately familiar with the type of chatter. I didn’t mind some of it—I was actually tickled by the mid-book discussion of Clerks (1994) and an oblique reference to Encino Man (1992)—but the third-person perspective-hopping between the three main characters was often tangled and confusing to me. A little more sensory information and a little less dudes-in-a-video-store-movie-knowledge-pissing-contest might have improved the foundation somewhat, or at least anchored the reader in the world of the book, but for the majority I felt a little lost. Oddly enough I did enjoy the character of Randy, the “last” Blockbuster manager, though my affinity for and bias towards chaotic bisexual characters may be showing. However, I don’t want to discourage anyone from giving it a try—what feels ephemeral and nonsensical to me may click well for someone else. (As of this writing, this book is available on the Hoopla app, which requires a library card; I listened to the audio made available in the Audible Premium catalog.)
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Something Is Killing the Children Volumes 1 through 6: written by James Tynion IV, illustrated by Werther Dell’edera, colored by Miquel Muerto [comic/graphic novel; horror, monsters]
Book of Slaughter (Tynion IV, Dell’edera, Muerto) [comic/graphic novel; horror, monsters]
House of Slaughter Vol. 1: The Butcher’s Mark: story by James Tynion IV & Tate Brombal, script by Tate Brombal, illustrated by Chris Sheehan, colored by Miquel Muerto. Designs and development by Werther Dell’edera [comic/graphic novel; horror, monsters]
House of Slaughter Vol. 2: Scarlet: written by Sam Johns, illustrated by Letitia Cadonici, colored by Francesco Segala [comic/graphic novel; horror, monsters]
I’ll combine reviews of these titles as they are part of the same general universe. To begin, if graphic depiction of violence against anyone isn’t your jam, you may want to skip, because there’s a lot of it—and, as the title Something Is Killing the Children suggests, the victims are primarily kiddos. As upsetting and distasteful as this idea may seem to non-horror fans, high stakes are a key characteristic of the genre; the more vulnerable the victims, the more critical the actions of those left alive. The primary character leading the reader through events is Erica Slaughter, a no-nonsense loner who shows up at the scene of ongoing tragedy in Archer’s Peak, Wisconsin, with a backpack, a flip-phone, and a creepy toy octopus. Her curt, impolite manner and curious large eyes make her immediately suspicious to authorities and townspeople alike—except James, a young teen who witnessed the monstrous violence firsthand and trusts her intent to do something about it. This premise compelled me through the first two volumes in a matter of days and it never really loses steam through the remaining four, always revealing something new about the operations of the mysterious House of Slaughter and its sister houses around the world. The story, and its accompanying titles Book of Slaughter and House of Slaughter, builds an interesting lore about monsters, their origins, and what it takes to hunt them—but I do caution again about the graphic violence. It’s not for everyone. (As of this writing, all six volumes of Something Is Killing the Children, Book of Slaughter, and the first two volumes of House of Slaughter are available on Comixology Unlimited.)
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The Nice House on the Lake Volumes 1 and 2: written by James Tynion IV, illustrated by Álvaro Martínez Bueno, colored by Jordie Bellaire [comic/graphic novel; cosmic horror, sci-fi]
At the beginning of Covid lockdowns, ten people are invited by their mutual friend Walter to come stay for a week in a gorgeously appointed house by a lake, promised fun, sun, and all the luxuries they can reasonably handle for the duration. But only a few days in, they discover it might just be the last peaceful spot in a world going to hell. The reader is first deposited—classic in medias res—in a post-lake-house future deep end to meet Ryan, who could be described as the second main character after Walter. After this brief intro the story rewinds back to a point before all of our characters have begun their lake house reverie. The structure of the story does take the reader to points in the past to support the unfolding present, with occasional glimpses of the future, but I never found that part confusing. The present-day lake house setting is both important in telling the story and providing a backdrop for a study of characters interacting and relationships simultaneously developing and cracking under the pressure of a greater unknown.
Where I did have a difficulty was keeping track of who was who in the massive cast (with the exception of Walter) especially as each character is referred to both by name and also a detached title (e.g., The Artist, The Comedian, The Doctor, and so on). There’s a handy guide at the end with illustrations of each character, their name, their title, and the icon that represents them in the context of the story, but since I don’t generally check out the end of the book before I get there (especially in e-books where I can’t flip through as one does with physical books), I wasn’t able to make use of it to keep everyone straight while I was using it. No matter; given that not every character is intimately acquainted—some were high school friends, some college pals, some met in adulthood—this can simulate the feeling of being only vaguely familiar with most of the people around you. Despite the drama—and its sinister underpinnings—there is fun in the story (for example, a unique delivery service that simultaneously delivers needed items to the nice house on the lake and reveals/develops character) and a blend of dry and adolescent humor (a lot of this comes from David, or The Comedian—secretly my favorite character).
Much like Something Is Killing the Children, I gobbled both volumes up in a matter of days. The writing and art blends perfectly to create a narrative experience I didn’t expect coming from the title. (As of this writing, volume 1 is available on Comixology Unlimited and volume 2 on the Hoopla app, which requires a library card to access.)
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You’re Not Supposed to Die Tonight by Kalynn Bayron, narrated by Hewot Tedla [audio; YA, horror, suspense, LGBTQ+]
I’m a horror aficionado and an adult who still reads YA, so I was sold on the concept—a narrative from the perspective of Charity, a queer Black teenage girl working as a host and cast member (the resident Final Girl, in fact) of a “survive the night” horror camp experience. Think: a summer camp themed open-air “escape room,” where the only puzzle is to avoid being caught by the 6’4” masked slasher. Bayron imparts her encyclopedic knowledge of horror movies to Charity and her friends, so the book is filled with references and callbacks (I see you, Sheriff Lillard!) and plenty of creepy chills. There’s no shying away from the grisly consequences of being caught by a killer, either, so be forewarned that the descriptive work on this front is not for the faint of heart. There’s a touch of romance from an already established relationship between Charity and her girlfriend Bezi, but it doesn’t engulf the storyline. Clocking in at 6-odd hours, this is a quick listen, and the character development, in tandem with the non-stop action, keeps the reader invested and engaged. Hewot Tedla inhabits the role with gusto, especially when voicing other characters; however, for adult listeners who have forgotten what it’s like to be a teenager, some of the dramatics in the narration might occasionally feel grating. I think it’s important in cases like that to realize when you’re not in the target audience. The story itself goes places I didn’t expect or see coming, which some other reviews have described as “weird,” but I think it’s refreshing to see a different take on what motivations and power could lie beneath the humble premise of an anonymous menace with a machete, and I’m glad I gave it the time. (As of this writing, this title was available through my local library via the Libby app; your library may vary. It is also available through Audible for one credit or $13.73.)
Bad Things Feel Best by Ivy Smoak (text plus audio narrated by Eliana Marianes) [novel; mystery, romance, silly]
If this book and I were to embody a common romance trope, it would be enemies to lovers. Truth be told, despite the adage that warns us not to judge a book by its cover, I am occasionally a jacket girlie; I’m an easy mark for pretty colors and an interesting blurb. The description promised something mysterious, even sinister, so I think I had the idea that it was horror or at least horror-adjacent, but as the story unfolded it appeared to be more of a mystery-romance hybrid, where the sinister undertones are pretty mild—more the product of wildly imaginative conclusions courtesy of the first-person protagonist, Hazel Fox. I’m not opposed to romance, though its seeming reliance upon misunderstandings and lack of direct communication to build conflict and tension is annoying to me as a reader. In this aspect alone, I was deeply challenged by Hazel.
Okay, that was the diplomatic take; let’s get real. She annoyed the everloving shit out of me. Who takes a cushy live-in job as an assistant to an author, straight out of college mind you, and then tromps all over the boss’ requests and boundaries? Who goes opening doors they’ve been asked politely not to open? Who sasses back to someone up the chain of command, asking all sorts of invasive questions? And who on earth assumes they’re going to be BFFs with their boss?! Within a few chapters, Hazel’s rudely snoopin’ presumptuous ass made me nudge the speed of the audiobook up to 1.2x, which might not seem like a lot, but I never do that even when I’m pressed for time. I believe that the work put into narration is valuable and paced according to the project, so that’s how I listen to it. It might have actually worked in the book’s favor, though—the slight increase in speed got me further into the book before I could justify quitting, and also matched Hazel’s many tempestuous jumps to strange conclusions. I think it also made the side character Kehlani—Hazel’s BFF and former roommate that she calls and texts with throughout the story—even funnier.
There could be some truth to the idea that what we don’t like holds up a mirror and shows us the things we dislike in ourselves, and in my case I think it’s that I saw Hazel as a naïve nitwit. Yet somehow—even though she believes that cloud cover means you don’t have to wear sunscreen, or can’t put two and two together when it comes to her boss liaison/manager, Mr. Remington (to reach an assumption I made within the first few pages)—she began to grow on me. Oh, she still kept making dumb decisions and junior sleuthing her way around the manor and vehemently denying a raging crush on Mr. Remington, but I became invested. I wanted to know if she’d ever think through any of her assumptions or uncover a clue. I sort of started to… like her. Just a little. I think I liked Kehlani more, but Hazel had her reasons for being so flighty and honestly, I do prefer my main characters to be flawed creatures. If Hazel had used her best judgment at any point in the story, she would have been boring and there wouldn’t be a book. So I must give props to Ivy Smoak for writing a character and a story just silly enough to get me to take it seriously! My final complaint is that one of the very plausible plot threads—the one that could be considered sinister—never finds a conclusion. It’s just left hanging! After all the shade I threw at Hazel I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I hope it’s because there’s a sequel in the works. (As of this writing, this title is available as an ebook on Kindle Unlimited with accompanying audiobook.)
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Thus concludes what I read in January! I started at least four other books, one of which—As Good As Dead by Holly Jackson, the third and final book in the Good Girl’s Guide to Murder trilogy—I won’t be finishing for many months as I had to return it to the library and the hold time is ridiculous. To be honest, though, it was so stressful at the point where I stopped listening that I think I need the break. I highly recommend the first two books, A Good Girl’s Guide to Murder and Good Girl, Bad Blood—I listened to both toward the end of last year. If you like crime, mystery, and a go-getter protagonist who can’t rest in the face of injustice (and organizes her life with spreadsheets), it might be for you. Jackson’s other book, Five Survive, features a protagonist who I definitely read as having ADHD and an unraveling mystery so tense and unpredictable that I finished the audio in four days.
If you made it to the end here, thank you so much for hanging out and letting me rabbit on about books! If you liked these mini reviews (though I admit in the case of Bad Things Feel Best the review went a little maxi), please feel free to also check out my movie reviews at my Letterboxd, ADHD Movie Club (aka the first title of this blog). In 2022 I set out to watch a new-to-me movie every day (I succeeded by doubling up on some days so I could take a week to binge all three seasons of The Boys (2019–)), took the year off in 2023, and have come back this year fresh and ready to experience more stories, for better or for worse.
I’ll see you around these parts soon for more skating/books/essaying/crafts/STUFF! And in the meantime, remember: you matter. We’re all just doing our very best to not be flung off this little ball of dirt and water, spinning around the sun in an endless ballet with our sister planets, and being here at all is winning. I’m glad you’re here. Come back and see me soon, okay? ♥️
Cosmic’s Read-o-Rama 